Why my bf is a "bomb" for my folks

Well, from day 1 they didn't want me to date him.  They were under the false impression that I would only date Catholics.  Dad thought is a convert.  In fact, he didn't convert until 7 years into their marriage!  Yet, they started to freak out when they could tell from the beginning how hard and quickly I was falling for J.  They also didn't like that he only made a little more than me - making it difficult to raise a family on since it is a priority of mine to be a stay at home mom.  And, the final nail in the coffin is the fact that his parents are divorced, which I don't think is much of an issue at all.  He's handled that very well and is the only one of his siblings to have a good relationship with his Dad (has an alcohol problem). 

So, they put off meeting him until we had been dating 3 months making J very anxious.  He had already read (of his own volition) Catholics for Dummies and was going to Mass with me almost every week at that point.  I had told him my parents issues because they made me upset and I also figure the guy I'm dating should know what he is getting into.  Anyway, they liked him a lot - so that was good.  A couple months later though I meet J's dad for the first time....and come to find out when I get back that my mom had been holding out hope that when that happened, I would "come to my senses".  To be honest, J's dad is a bit rough but a nice guy....very opinionated and pessimistic...but not bad really.

After that she drew into her shell for about 2 months.  She wouldn't talk to me on the phone or see me in person.  We would exchange e-mails about once a week arguing about J.  We tried to go to a movie as a family once.....but that was one of the worst, most uncomfortable things I've ever done.  She barely would talk to me and you could tell she was still very depressed and/or angry.  Finally we had to talk because we were scheduled to throw one of my best friends a baby shower.  She seemed pleasant from the get-go...and things went back to normal.  A couple months later she said she had come to peace with it.  After that, they were on the J band wagon and 6 months later even started bugging me about when we were going to get engaged so she could start planning the wedding.

But the damage had been done....