Everything has consequences...

We talked daily during the upheaval in my family.  About that situation and what else was going on in my life.  Just when things were looking the darkest....and I was driving home from my discernment class...he called out of the blue.  He calmed me down...and when I arrived at home...he was there...with his arms wide open.  He comforted me with words, hugs, and after a little bit kisses.  I didn't know whether being affectionate was a good thing or not for us....but it was what I needed right then.  We cuddled, talked, and watched TV together....it was amazing the almost magnetic pull I could feel between us.  Eventually he had to leave, it was a work night.  We had crossed a line though...one that I didn't know if I wanted to cross back over or not. 

The situation with my parents finally stabilized a couple weeks later.  By that point they were planning a family vacation for Florida!  Well, I no longer had an excuse to call J on a regular basis.  Neither one of us wanted to stop....however, I wasn't prepared to jump back into us.  I thought I had a few more months at least to discern God's will and figure things out.  I told him I wanted to go back the way we were prior to my folks and that we would revisit us in a few months.  He was OK with this...except he said he couldn't deal with me dating if we were ever to get back together.  He had already put himself through getting OK with that once...he didn't think he could do that again and be able to consider "us" again.