Ok, so it is out now...

The folks have been told that J sent me a few letters and we've had a couple good phone conversations.  They took it as well as could be expected.  They wanted to know why last December happened, and I just said that was private.  I just don't know how they'll take that it was them.  I don't want to tear my own family apart when J and I could still fall apart.  He didn't take their reaction well, although I'm not sure what he expected.  They didn't worry about anything that I didn't already worry about and I think he is worried about that.  He just really doesn't want to lose me again.  I feel like curling up in a ball and retreating from the world.  Love is never easy for me and it is never completely happy.  How am I ever going to get engaged again if I am always questioning myself?  He should be running away from a girl like me, that is all I know.